I’m steaming, me. It takes me a while to get one of these things written properly particularly when I’m gathering my thoughts on such a delicate topic as the afterlife an’all. But I have to do it through that useless lump of a nephew of mine, because I can’t type stuff up for the internet with my fingers. They don’t have any substance of their own, see, so I have to use his, and that means manifesting myself in his ruddy body, and that involves him getting those ridiculous old tights out and the headscarf and the rollers and everything. It takes ruddy ages. Anyway, I did this piece on the Animal Kingdom last week, and today he goes and tells me that he has only gone and lost it. Honestly. I’m livid. I’ve forgotten it all now an’all, apart from I think that there was one half decent joke about dolphins in there somewhere. Ohh well.. I shall just have to see what I can cobble together out of my memories and knowledge.
The Animal Kingdom are a little bit different to humans when it comes to passing over to the other side. But there are animals here. When I finally got to spend a little time alone in my bungalow on the other side, after my Mother and my sister pearl had finished fussing over me, I heard a scratching at the door, and when I opened it, there was Madamoiselle Tuppence, my little Yorkshire Terrier, dead the past three years, come to greet me.
Soon she was sitting on my lap, and as I ran my fingers through the hirs of my little Tuppence, I felt her relax, and I relaxed as well. I had forgotten how restful it was, playing with my little Tuppence. It was truly a pleasure.
Once I had remembered the joy of pets, it wasn’t long before I was re-united with Hattie and Eric, my two Goldfish. I hadn’t seen them since that winters day in 1989, when Raymond and me had stayed out late without the central heating on only to find them both belly up on our return. We gave them a good send off, Raymond played a cassette with the national Anthem on it whilst I flushed them down the toilet. But here they were with me again, in a nice big bowl on my other-sideboard.
Sorry to be human-centric, but it seems that only the animals that had a good relationship with humans have an existence on the other side. Apparently, most of the rest of them do in fact re-incarnate almost straight away. Things like Wasps and daddy long legs and stuff just aren’t needed here, and they wouldn’t be all that much use to The Meld. So they just get sort of recycled. I think that they can be re-incarnated as something else, moving up a sort of karmic scale, until they reach a level where they might actually come to the other side as a human or a pet or something.
Apparently there are some creatures who do go straight into the meld, and their experiences add to the mix in there. I have heard some people say that this is the case with dolphins, although they seem a bit fishy to me. There you go. I told you there was a dolphin joke in there somewhere.
Providing Our Michael hasn’t lost the ruddy thing, tomorrow I will be sharing my knowledge of those people who refuse to move into The Meld. If he finds that other article in the meantime, I will get him to post it somewhere. I am sure that there were some interesting observations on bees and bacteria and stuff in there. Bet you never thought about whether bacteria passes over to the other side when it has been blasted with penicillin did you? No. Neither did Alexander Ruddy Fleming. Sometimes they tease him by giving him a posthumous sore throat an’ll.
If you are disturbed by any of this other side business, fear not. I am always on hand to discuss the ins and outs of the other side with you. And Our Michael has even got me an email address now. Its firstname.lastname@example.org if you must know.