Auntie Doris’s Tarot Card of the Week #63 the Eight of Wands: 12th – 18th January 2015
Eight stout staffs, bursting with new life out of the ends of them. But look at the ruddy angle they are positioned in. They are pointing downwards. You can’t see what’s going on with the other end of them either. They are either being held by eight (or possibly four) people who can’t manage to hold them up properly any more. Or they have been thrown like javelins and have been up and are now doing the downward bit of their path.
The thing is, most of us like our wands at a jauntier angle than that. They remind me of that old time actor from the films. King Dong. He had an immense wand, but when it was fully extended , he couldn’t manage to get it to much more of an angle than the ones on this card. If he did he would have fainted due to their not being enough blood left in the rest of his body to provide his brain with fresh oxygen. After the novelty had worn off, all his leading ladies got bored and went back to more traditional actors such as Ronald Regan or Rondo Hatton. Let’s be honest, it’s more of an angle of dangle than an angle of elevation. And its bad enough iwhen a bloke rolls over and goes to sleep the minute he has finished his business, but its even worse if he faints in the middle of it due to a reduced blood supply to his cranium.
As the old adage goes… “It’s not the size of your equipment that matters, but what you can manage to do with it. Mind you, there are some people with miniscule equipment and they can’t even manage to operate that properly. My Raymond couldn’t even get a panel pin into the wall to hang a ruddy calendar on without bending the ruddy thing out of all recognition, creating a hole the size of an old penny piece and getting plaster all over the knick knacks on my mantelpiece. Nobody likes grit all over their knick knacks either. I certainly didn’t.
If you draw this card, I’m afraid it points downwards, perhaps to old age, decreasing powers, and the need for a change in lifestyle. But don’t worry. There’s still green shoots on them ruddy wands. And as another old adage goes… “There’s many a good tune played on an old fiddle.
Four Things that you might do this week (i) Make sure that all your equipment is in full working order, and that you are able to tackle any job that you might embark upon. If you can’t, then make sure that you know a good tradesman who can do the work for you. If your wife likes her beef dripping, send her to the butchers. (ii) Make sure that you keep a good supply of oxygen to your brain. This might be as simple as making sure that you go out for regular long walks in the fresh air or sleep with the windows open. But for some people it may mean minor surgery “down below” (iii) Make sure that your knick knacks are clean and in good order. This may involve flicking a feather duster over them once in a while, but if there are any stubborn spots which are in particular need of attention, you might need to lick the end of your finger and give them a vigorous rubbing. (iv) If all else fails, remember that not everyone can continue with the pursuits of their youth as their dotage approaches. Consider taking up a new hobby, basket weaving, crocheting doilies or doing word searches are all great comforts to those who have reduced abilities in other areas of life.