Auntie Doris’s Tarot Card of the Week #48: The Chariot. 29th September -5th October 2014

If you ask me, it’s a ruddy funny looking chariot on this card. The bloke in it is stood up and it looks like he is encased in a concrete block. And what are them two sphincters doing in front of it. They don’t look like they are pulling it along. They look more like they are lolling about in the road playing with their tails. And the white one on the right reminds me of the lass from Devizes (who’s bosoms were different sizes.)
Its a proper conundrum this card.
I reckon that what with the Egyptian theme, and the fact that it’s about transportation, it represents the possibility of a holiday, somewhere warm and Exotic. Maybe Torquay. Apparently they have real Palm trees there.
The bloke up to his waist in the chariot is definitely a magician of some sort what with that wand thing in his hand and those starry curtains. And he is parked in front of water, which could suggest the seaside again. Them Sphincters might represent the black and white minstrels. I used to like them, before we found out that they were racialist. I used to enjoy it when they sang about “dem golden slippers” and the “Swanee River.” Of course I used to think it was a bit strange that they blacked their faces up. But as far as I was concerned, if that was what they wanted to do, then I wasn’t going to hold it against them. I’m sure that deep down they were just the same as everyone else. All men have the capacity to be harmlessly stupid. Some like to wear knickers and tights, and some want to black up and wear straw hats. Strange, but true.
Any road. If you draw this card, I reckon that you need a holiday. Plan some time to take it easy. Go and see a variety show. Relax. Let your Sphincters relax an’all. You have been bottling things up for far too long. Let your Sphincters relax and all your troubles will come tumbling out, and can be flushed away. You will feel better for it. You can start afresh, with a clean slate.
Four things that you might do this week. (i) go and see a live performance of something. It doesn’t have to be Verdi’s Rigatoni or anything. It could just be one of them bukkake singers at the local pub. The thing is, enjoy a performance. It’ll please you, and the performers. (ii) buy yourself some new slippers. They don’t have to be golden ones, but if they have some at the local shoe shop, why not? Treat yourself! (iii) dress up as something you’re not. Fancy dress if you like. Cross gender, cross race? As long as you are appreciating and not taking the Mickey, where’s the harm in it? (iv) Write a limerick. Why not? It’s fun. You can post your effort in the comments here if you want. I’d like to read what you think up…. I’ll start if off if you like…
“There once was a…” There you go… Now it’s your turn.

3 thoughts on “Auntie Doris’s Tarot Card of the Week #48: The Chariot. 29th September -5th October 2014

  1. Your challenge made me waste a lot of time and with a limited result. Being a woman, you might not fully understand the physical parts of the limerick below, but I’m sure nephew Michael will be able to help you:
    The once was a man who was Inca
    Whose urethra was quite incompleter;
    He asked for a transplant,
    They gave him a new heart,
    And now he wees out his cardiac sphincter.

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