Auntie Doris’s Mysteries of the Unexplained #2: The Boswell Incident


July 8th 1947. The sleepy East Yorkshire village of Boswell was enjoying the post war peace just as were similar villages up and down the length and breadth of the country. But after that night, perhaps nothing would ever be the same again. At around 11pm, villagers were disturbed by a loud throbbing sound. Those who left their homes to see what it was were greeted by the sight of a large cigar shaped saucer hovering above the village, with multi coloured flashing lights the like of which none of them had ever clapped eyes on before.
Beyond the lights, in the fuselage of the saucer shaped cigar like craft, the silhouettes of strange humanoid beings with abnormally large heads could be made out, waving at the people below with long spindly arms, ending in hands with long spindly fingers.
The villagers felt an inexplicable sense of well being and communion with the beings in the sausage like saucer, a strange calm and sense of brotherhood descended and a mild euphoria swept through the crowd. (Whatever that is when it’s all at home.
But at 11.05, disaster struck. The coloured lights flickered on and off, there was a loud bang, and the strange saucer shaped cigar suddenly dropped from the skies and smashed to earth, landing on the cricket pitch, where it promptly shattered into thousands upon thousands of cigar shaped smithereens.
All in all fourteen alien bodies were recovered from the wreckage. All quite dead. The vicar of the parish of Boswell, the Reverend Lovejoy Duran, administered the last rites, before they were taken to the village hall where two local doctors, Dr Anthony McPartlin and Dr Declan Donnelly did an alien autopsy on them. The autopsy was videoed and revealed grey beings with skinny little spindly bodies supporting massive hairless heads with huge great black eyes which had no whites or irises. It was theorised that they had lost control of their penis shaped saucer craft because they had got dizzy due to the pressure of The Earths gravitational pull on there huge crania. They must have come from a world where gravity was not as strong, like maybe Neptune or Pluto or somewhere from a totally different solar system.
After the alien autopsy, the Reverend Lovejoy had the bodies cremated, and their ashes scattered in the village duck pond. A wake was held in the village hall, with sandwiches, tea, cakes and three barrels of beer, donated by Mr Bill Brazil of the Red Lion pub.
During this wake, some government officials arrived and were angered to find out that the ashes of the aliens were in the duck pond, and that the cigar like saucer, which had apparently been made of alien tin foil and balsa wood type substances, had been sent to the council tip at Abingdon on Thames, and could not be traced.
They then proceeded to hypnotise everyone in the village and make them forget everything about what had happened, transferring their memories to some half forgotten story about something that had happened in Roswell, in America. The story was put out that a weather balloon had crashed on the cricket ground, and money was provided to repair the pitch. I ask you… what is a weather balloon when it’s all at home any road, and have you ever heard of one crashing, other than to cover up a UFO incident?
However, Bill Brazil’s young son Alan managed to avoid being hypnotised by hiding under the table, and has been telling the true story of what happened at Boswell to anyone who cares to listen to him ever since. He is currently telling it to the listeners of the British radio station “Talk Sport,” but as that particular station is well known for broadcasting stuff and nonsense, he is doomed to have no one listen, and no one believe. Except perhaps for open minded individuals such as you and I.

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