Auntie Doris’s Tarot Card of the Week #44: Justice – 1st -7th September 2014

They reckon that it is only wicked people that have to worry about justice, but I reckon that’s not the whole story. It always depends on who is doling out the justice. I don’t like the look of the one on this card, I don’t know if it’s a him or a her, but whoever it is, that have a stern look in their eye, and that ruddy sword is enough to put the willies up anyone they were judging. They have the scales of justice in the other hand, which is a good thing, but again, it depends how much weight they put to what you have done wrong.

My sister Pearl got caught shoplifting one time, down at the Co-Op. She reckoned it was all a mistake, but like I said at the time, how do you get six slices of processed ham inside your knickers by mistake? It was a funny business. It wasn’t as if she couldn’t afford them or anything like that. She said that her mind went blank and she couldn’t remember doing it. But she always used to remember when people did something that upset her. She never forgot about that ruddy tea caddy my Mother left me.
Any road, they took her into the office and the manager gave her a stern talking to, but he let her off in the end. He made her pay for them though. I think that there had been some talk of putting them back, but who would want six slices of processed ham that had been in our Pearl’s knickers? Fair enough, they were wrapped in greaseproof paper, but it’s the thought of it that would turn your stomach. I don’t think that she even fancied them much herself after all the bother. She gave them to her George in sandwiches. He was none the wiser about their provenance.
My point is though, was it justice to let her off? Or would it have been justice to chop her ruddy hands off? Like I said, it all depends on the judge. Speaking from the other side, I can see that in the balance of things, her crime was next to nothing. Then again, most crimes are, in the balance of things. Its all experience for The Meld any road. Mind you, if they had chopped her hands off, she would have had some difficulty making sandwiches for her George, and that would have been experience for The Meld an’all.
Four things that you might do this week. (i) Buy some pressed meat or something and make some sandwiches for someone you like. You might save them from trying to pinch some down at the local co-op. (ii) Bandage your hands up in fists for a day, and see how you get on, doing stuff like making sandwiches and going to the toilet. Then see how you would feel about using chopping someone’s hands off as a punishment. And bandaging them up doesn’t even hurt that much, (iii) Buy some processed meat or something similar and pop it into your underclothes, then later on, put it into some sandwiches for someone you don’t like very much. Or someone that might appreciate the gesture, (the filthy so and so) (iv) Stay out of trouble. For one week of your life, just try and stay out of trouble, or try to avoid doing anything that might get you into trouble. I know its hard for someone like you, but just give it a go. For your old Auntie Doris.

2 thoughts on “Auntie Doris’s Tarot Card of the Week #44: Justice – 1st -7th September 2014

  1. Oh Auntie, I shall try to stay out of trouble just to please you. And I never knew that you spoke French. When I read the word “Provenance” I thought, My God! She speaks French! Now I know why you’re into art, especially since Renoir, Cezanne, Van Gogh and Picasso found inspiration from the Provenance Region of France. You can be my judge any time.

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