I spent the last 16 years of my life watching the ruddy Tories chipping away at everything we had gained since the war, gradually making the country worse for ordinary people, so that they could keep themselves in luxury. The last sixteen years of my life! And then, within two years of me dying and leaving Britain for a better place, ruddy Labour get themselves elected.
I have mixed feelings about that Tony Blair. You have to hand it to him, he got the ruddy Tories out, and replaced them with a more caring government, which was actually concerned with ordinary people, rather than just saying that they were. But on the other hand, he grinned like an idiot in an effort to make himself more appealing.
And grinning like an idiot wasn’t the only thing he did to make himself more appealing, either. He also abandoned Socialism and made sure that every aspect of the “New Labour” that he put in its place had been thoroughly scrutinised by committees of image experts to ensure that it seemed cuddly enough. Anything that got past these and appeared to be a little bit difficult for people to swallow, was “massaged” into something more palatable by “spin doctors.”
He made politicians into the kind of people who come knocking at your door, smiling and being nice while they sell you a religion, or double glazing or something. Nothing real about them, no passion, no belief, nothing! Just the ‘personality’ that they have picked up on a ruddy training course.
Of course, that paved the way for that oily Cameron to get into power, by not wearing a tie and forcing his face to look purposeful.
And apart from all that, Blair eventually got involved in another war in Iraq, because the ruddy Americans told him to.
Still. It had nothing to do with me, what with me being dead. I could relax in the Socialist Utopia of the Other Side and watch events unfold in the realm of the living at my leisure.
I have to say that I was a bit surprised when Princess Diana got killed in that car smash though. Was it something she said? Or was it an accident? I don’t ruddy know, but I can say that her and that Dodo bloke that she’s with keep themselves to themselves over here. And they don’t have anything to do with him what was driving the car, either. I don’t think that there are any hard feelings, its pretty difficult to have hard feelings over here, but then, there’s no point in them pretending that they are all good pals either. I suppose it will be the same when the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh arrive.
Auntie Doris’s top pop hit of 1997. “Candle in the Wind” by Elton John. You have to admit that it’s a ruddy good song, even if he did change the words after Diana died in a bare faced plot to earn himself a knighthood. He ruddy got one an all. I bet that David Bowie was kicking himself that he hadn’t thought of changing the words to “Major Tom” or something.