The Auntie Doris Years: 1996

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Well. I might have been dead, but I hadn’t felt better in all my living days. It was very interesting, settling down to life on the other side, meeting up with old friends and relatives. I didn’t bother getting back with my Raymond though. He had taken up with Muriel Dewlap, and old lass who used to live near us and now looked like a Dolly Bird. There were no hard feelings from me, any road. He was enjoying the idea of having a glorified body, and got himself looking about 30 years old. Quite the man I remembered. Bless him.
Myself, I preferred the look of my latter years, minus the aches and pains. I had always been comfortable as an elderly lady, but, as nothing is fixed on the other side, so I could take on the appearance of my younger self whenever I wanted to. Not that I did very much, although it was a lot of fun meeting up with Knaggs the Butcher again. It was just like in the old days when he got me beef dripping!
I wasn’t going to shack up with any man though. And what with my Hairy Mary coming back to life, I had all the company I needed of an evening. I always had a good stroke before bedtime. She was a lovely little doggie, and I was really pleased to see that her little spirit had survived the ruination of her body when My Raymond had trod on her.
I still took an interest in the Realm of the Living, April May had taken on the Care of Madamoiselle Tuppence. I was thankful for that, but I could see that she was pining for me a bit. It was quite interesting watching what was going on down there. I didn’t get involved. I thought it best not to at that time, and its not as easy as you might think to make a proper connection. If it was, everybody would be at it, I suppose.
They sold the house. April May and Cyril kept a few things that they wanted, including my Mother’s Chinese Tea Caddy, and packed the rest of my old stuff up in a couple of tea chests and shoved it in their attic.
Nobody gave a thought to my ruddy Ashes. As far as I know, they are still in a store room at the back of the crematorium now. I’m not bothered. They are useless to me and I can’t see them being much use to anyone else for that matter.
I still watched the news an’all. You can get the BBC on the other side. They even have a dedicated channel for people that have passed over “BBC Beyond” its called. You don’t even have to pay a license fee for it either! So I found out about all the Royal divorces. Poor old Fergie, Poor old Diana. It seems that those Windsor boys were even worse at relationships than most other men are. And that’s saying something.
Still, maybe their kids will have a happier time of it. I could still watch the kiddies in my family grow up, and enjoy their happy times.
Auntie Doris’s Pop hit of 1996: “Wonderwall” by The Mike Flowers Pops. I never understood all that ruddy loud music, even on the other side. But people like Mike Flowers and his Pop friends at least made the songs a bit more pleasant. Although I still don’t know what it was supposed to be about.

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