Auntie Doris’s Tarot Card of the Week #35: Strength – 30th June – 6th July 2014


A week has passed for you since my last Tarot card, dear reader. But not for me. For me it is still last week. I thought that I had better get two done at once, because my nephew Michael is going to London for some silly ruddy reason next Sunday, and even if I do manage a manifestation, he won’t want to be messing about with ruddy Tarot Cards. He’ll be too busy riding on the tube trains and looking for ruddy celebrities, like Peter Purvis and Derek Jacobi.
Lord give me strength: which is amazingly the tarot card I have just pulled out of the 45 card remainder of my pack.
And look at the lass in the strength card, tickling a lion’s chin and stroking its nose. It’s a wonder that she has any fingers left, carrying on like that. The lion looks like he’s ruddy loving it though, with his great lalloping tongue licking her wrist and it’s eyes looking up at her adoringly.
You know when you look at this card that it isn’t talking about strength in the traditional sense. Otherwise the lass in it would be pulling a lorry along with her teeth, tearing a telephone directory in half, or at least struggling to keep the lion still whilst she forced its jaws open. No, this card is about strength of character and bravery. This is the kind of lass who is strong enough to gain the trust and friendship of a fierce creature, without running away the first time it growls. The sort of lass who would take up with one of those motorcyclists and find out that underneath his crash helmet and leather jacket, he had a heart of gold.
My Raymond’s friend Herbert was a motorcyclist, but he had a white helmet with leather ear flaps and used to wear a sensible brown terylene jacket when he was out on his bike. He did let me have a go in his side car once though, but he was a proper gentleman, and didn’t take advantage even after he had pushed it up to forty five and the vibrations had made me go all gooey. Make no mistake, I would have gripped his throttle if he had asked me to, and given it a good twist an’all.
Any road, this card represents someone with strength, determination, kindness and patience. Look at the infinity thing above her head. That’s how much patience she has. Ruddy loads of it. If that beast thinks she is going to give up on him, she can think again!
Four things that you might to this week. (i) Go for a ride on a motorbike. If you haven’t got one, and can’t persuade someone to take you out on one, there are usually simulations to be had at the local amusement arcade. Get one of those between your legs and feel the throb! (ii) Try and befriend a wild animal. Even if it just means leaving a saucer of cat food out for a hedgehog in the garden. Don’t go leaving milk, they’re Lactose intolerant! That’s a start, we can’t all be ruddy lion tamers. (iii) take a trip to London, or somewhere where you might spot a few celebrities. Drop me a line if you see anyone good. I saw Arthur Askey the other week, he was having his feet done at my local Chiropodist. Nice bloke. (iv) Cultivate the art of patience. Make having to wait or work hard for something a thing to enjoy in itself.

2 thoughts on “Auntie Doris’s Tarot Card of the Week #35: Strength – 30th June – 6th July 2014

  1. How do you keep doing this? Is there something you’re dosing yourself with? This was a great one. I need to more fully understand the proper uses of the word “ruddy” so I can get some play with it around here.

You are allowed to comment... I don't ruddy bite, you know...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s