Auntie Doris’s Tarot Card of the Week #34: The Ace of Pentacles – 23rd-29th June 2014

It is Sunday again. I am sitting at the table in my nephew Michael’s garden with the tarot cards before me. I am about to draw the tarot card of the week, for the 33rd time. I have removed the previous 32 cards, and shuffled the remainder. I go through this ritual every Sunday, for your benefit. So I hope you ruddy well appreciate it! I do it on a Sunday to give you a chance to organise your week around my guidance. I know that some of you don’t read it until Monday, but that should give you time enough.
Any road, I had better get on with it. Our Michael’s wife will be back from church soon, and he’ll have to take these tights off sharpish then.
This weeks card is the Ace of Pentacles. Coinage for you from a great hand appearing out of the clouds. A windfall. But a windfall that you should use wisely. Just as I am comfortable sitting here in my nephew’s garden, you are perhaps getting too comfortable in your present surroundings. It is a pleasant enough garden in the card. A lawn, trees, a colourful border, a path to the arch leading out. But what can you see beyond the arch? Cold mountains of stone, that’s what! They represent the unknown; adventure, danger perhaps, certainly discomfort of one sort or another.
The choice is yours. You can take the little windfall, and put it in your piggy bank, and continue to sit on your fat arse in the garden, enjoying nothing more than a pleasant situation. Or you can use it to get out and do something. Take risks, make new friends, explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilisations, boldy go where no man has gone before. Like my Raymond’s brother John used to do when he was in the Merchant Navy. He got up to all sorts after the war, tattoos all over his arms and his chest, a girl in every port, every time he came home he had new adventures to tell us all about. He did it the other way on though. He got married in Italy, split up, came home, bought himself a house and laid on the couch in it for the rest of his days. When a small windfall did come his way from the pension fund he had, he blew it all on a Betamax video recorder and a stack of fruity videos. Filthy so and so. Apparently some of them had farmyard animals in them an’all.
Four things that you might do this week. (i) Buy a lottery ticket. Yes I know it’s a tax on the gullible designed to prop up the government by raising money for things that they ought to be spending the money they already have on, instead of supporting their ruddy cronies with. But just for once, treat yourself to a dream. If you really can’t stomach the lottery, buy a prize draw ticket off a worthy charity. (ii) Buy a bus ticket, or a train ticket if you are feeling flush. Take yourself out for a day. Just you. Somewhere unfamiliar. Where no one knows you. Force yourself to talk to people, eat out. Have a glass of sherry. Call it an adventure. Buy a tea towel whilst you are there. (iii) clear out some of your old videos and DVDs. Particularly the ones featuring farmyard animals. Unless you need them because you are some sort of a farmer with a specialist interest in rare breeds or something, but let’s face it, you aren’t, are you. (iv) Do what I am about to do. Put your cards to one side, put your feet on the garden table, close your eyes, and enjoy the sunlight on your face. Forget about everything else. Just for a short while.

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