Doris’s Digest #5: Was Shakespeare an Extra Terrestrial?

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William Shakespeare is universally acknowledged as the greatest playwright the world has ever known. But is it really possible that the son of a bloke from the West Midlands who knitted wooly gloves for a living could have written thirty seven plays and a hundred and fifty odd sonnets, all regarded as classics of English Literature?
Professor Nigel Cabbàge of the Department of Alien Literature at the University of Bulawayo, New England, U.S.A. thinks not. But whilst other academics suggest that his works were really penned by figures such as Francis Bacon, Joe Egg, or Capability Brown-Sauce, Cabbàge believes that they were produced by visitors to our world from the far reaches of outer space.
“Everyone knows that during the late 1500s and the Early 1600s sightings of flying saucers, silver men with red eyes, and strange coloured lights in the skies above Great Britain were more frequent than at any other time in history” suggests Cabbàge, “I believe that sections of Elizabethan society were in regular contact with beings from other worlds.
It may seem far fetched at first” he continues “but once you accept the basic idea, there is a wealth of support in the original Shakesperian texts.
For example in “Loves Labour’s Lost” (act 4, scene 3) Brion suggests that being “let out in saucers” would be a suitable cure for fever, a clear reference to the advanced medical technology of visitors from other worlds”.
Hamlet is a particular source of evidence for Cabbàge who states that even the name Hamlet, suggests a man who was used to travelling in strange, cigar shaped objects, and his quote from act 2, scene 2 “O God, I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space” suggests a small interplanetary space pod. In Act 3, scene 4 Hamlet suggests that he will “blow (his supporters) at the moon.” Adding “O, ’tis most sweet when in one line, two crafts directly meet” clearly speaking about ships docking in space.
Cabbàge is adamant that Shakespeare’s works are littered with references such as these. He points to Henry 6th part 1: act 1, scene 1 where the Duke of Bedford says “Prosper this realm, keep it from civil broils, combat with adverse planets in the heavens!” suggesting an interplanetary war!
Also many characters in Shakespeare are said to be “Mantuan” including Romeo out of “Romeo and Juliet” Cabbàge is adamant that this is an Elizabethan mis-spelling of “Martian.” It makes you think, doesn’t it?
The main problem with Cabbàge’s argument, apart from the fact that he is clearly crackers, is the question of why extra terrestrials would come to earth, leave us with a set of plays and poems, and then nothing be heard of them for nearly four hundred years?
His answer is that the Shakesperian works were intended as advice from advanced civilisations, a blueprint if you will, for how we should live. They could only leave the message and then, Under complex interplanetary non interference rules, a bit like the prime directive in Star Trek, they only had a limited time to leave the message and then they had to leave us be. However, some important figures in the Elizabethan court such as Sir Walter Raleigh and Sir Francis Chichester may have had a few goes in flying saucers and picked up a few tips and tricks whilst they were at it.
“Since my landing I have understood your lord has betook himself to unknown travels. My message must return from whence it came”. (Pericles: Prince of Tyre 1.3)

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