Auntie Doris’s Tarot Card of the Week #32: The Hanged Man: 9th – 16th June 2014

Poor beggar. At the very least, he is going to come out of that with a bad backache, in fact he’ll probably ache all over. And there’s every chance that he will end up with one leg longer than the other one an’all. But look at his face. He is as calm as anything, and do you know why? Because he knows that he is innocent, that’s why. Whatever he has been strung up for, he knows deep down that he didn’t do it. He is like Grizzly Adams – Accused of a crime he didn’t commit. In this case we don’t know who accused him of it, it might even be himself, but the punishment is unnecessary, he didn’t ruddy do it.
Most people who find themselves blamed for something that they didn’t do would get annoyed, they would protest loudly, maybe they would be a bit scared, but not this one. He is bearing his punishment in a patient, saintly manner. “Once things are sorted out” he is saying to himself “I’ll get down somehow, and have a nice hot bath. I might even put some Radox in it to help these achy muscles relax”
I once accused my Raymond of scoffing the Chartreuse Creams out of the box of Terry’s All Gold that our Madge had bought me for my sixtieth. I was that cross, I could have spat! I had been going to save them until last because they were my favourites. It wasn’t just the top one, the one from the bottom layer had gone too. I wouldn’t have minded so much if it had been the montelimars, I never liked them. The little bits of nougatine used to get stuck behind my pallet, and it they took ages to dissolve in your mouth. Yeeuch! But the Chartreuse Creams were ruddy heavenly!
Of Course, Raymond denied it, but that was his reflex action. He would deny everything, even when it was obviously him (who else would ewe all over the floor in front of the toilet? Not me, I’ll tell you that for nothing!) Any road, i stopped speaking to him, and when I did his dinner, I used to give him less peas, and smaller spuds, and I used to do the gravy earlier, so that it went cold before the rest of the meal was ready. He didn’t take his punishment like the hanged man on the card. He had a permanent face on, and when he wasn’t hiding in his shed, clocked around the house making as much racket as he possibly could.
Then my niece Pam told me that our Michael had had them, and it had been playing on her conscience all week. He had tried to get her to eat one, and when she had refused, he had scoffed them both, the greedy little so and so. I didn’t give him any pocket money that week, I bought myself a mint crack ell instead, and shard it with Pam. I even let Raymond have a nibble. But that was the nearest he got to an apology. I want ruddy soft, he might not have had those Chartreuse Creams, but he was guilty of plenty else. Probably.
Four things that you might do this week. (i) Treat yourself to some nice chocolate, and have a small glass of Chartreuse while you are eating it. (ii) Dye your hair Chartreuse whilst listening to Louis Jordan singing “You Dyed Your Hair Chartreuse” (iii) have an amnesty with everyone you might conceivably have wrongly accused of something (including yourself) (iv) have a nice relaxing bath, with some Radox in it.

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