Auntie Doris’s New Zodiac #7: Pegasus: The Winged Horse: Oct 21 – Nov 16

pegasusI sometimes wonder what those ruddy Greek Astronomers were on! I would have to have more than a few glasses of sherry before I looked up into the sky and saw the shape of a horse with wings outlined in the stars above. But that’s what they did. And they called it Pegasus, after the Taxi company probably.
Everybody knows that there is no such thing as a winged horse. Never has been, and never will be. So that makes people born under the sign of Pegasus dreamers, fantasists and people who are never satisfied with what they have got.
Most little lasses would be happy if they got a horse for Christmas but the Pegasusian girl will never be satisfied. She wanted one with ruddy wings. Same with anything else, buy a Pegasusian a book and he will turn his ruddy nose right up. He wanted a leather bound edition with coloured photographs, or better still one of those new fangled VD discs so that he could watch it on the television, rather than having to go to the trouble of turning the pages over.
Pegasusians always want faster cars, bigger houses, better clothes and a ruddy flake in their ice cream as well as having it blathered in red sauce, and rolled around in a dish of crushed nuts and hundreds and thousands. They are never ruddy satisfied. My advice to them would be, relax, look at what you have got, make do with it and enjoy. If life deals you a tub of margerine, get some cream crackers to put it on. Or something. You can’t make a sandwich without breaking eggs. Well, not a Victoria sponge sandwich anyway. We found that out the hard way in the war, and you never saw us crying over spilled milk either.
There’s nowt wrong with wanting better. It gives you the motivation to improve yourself and do better, but it can become an obsession and get in the way of leading a normal life. Like the Microscopians, Pegasusians need to learn to keep things in ruddy proportion, and when to enjoy what they have.
Famous Pegasusians: Leicester Piggott. Failed in his attempts to breed horses with wings, but wasn’t satisfied with winning the St Ledger stakes just the once, he had to win it eight ruddy times, and the Epsom Derby, and the 2,000 Guinness and plenty else besides. Shame the miserable git couldn’t find it in himself to pay his ruddy taxes. Judge Judy Sheindlin, not satisfied with helping people sort out the little messes they make in their lives, she has to rub their faces in it on the ruddy television an’all. Gordon Ramsey. Not satisfied with what people cook for him, he has to swear the air blue in front of them an all. Charles Bronson. Not Satisfied with making Death Wish, he had to make Death Wish 2, 3, 4, and 5 an’all. And in ruddy Roman numerals too!

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