Auntie Doris’s Tarot Card of the Week #29 The Six of Pentacles – 19th -25th May 2014

The power of the tarot is something spectacular indeed, dear reader. Since starting my journey through the Tarot last October, I have stuck to my original plan of drawing a random card each week, after giving the pack a vigorous shuffle. So why the ruddy Nora do I keep on drawing the Pentacles? Is it because I am money mad? Of course not, I am dead. Is it because the people who I am drawing the cards for are money mad? That’s you dear reader, and if you were money mad, I doubt that you would be following my tarot reading advice? Is it because I am dabbling with forces that I don’t understand? Absolutely not. I am shocked that you would even entertain such a notion. But then again…. If you were talking about my nephew Michael, and his relationship with me, his deceased relative, then we might be getting somewhere. In his dealings with me he is almost certainly dabbling with forces that he does not understand. It’s great for me to be able to communicate to you from the other side by manifesting myself through him. But what does he get out of the bargain eh? At the very least, some kind of personality disorder, probably along with ruddy gender dysphoria into the bargain. What he won’t be getting out of it is any money. Even though he dreams of doing a Doris Stokes and making a fortune in paper backed books. He truly is a soft sod, our Michael.
Any road, let’s be having a look at the six of Pentacles. It’s simple really, there’s lord moneybags, showing what a kind liberal sort of a fellow he is by doling out money to the poor. But he has a set of scales in his other hand. Any clever clogs who thinks that this means that he is a drug dealer has been watching too many episodes of Hill Street Blues. These are the scales of justice, and they are leading old Moneybags to make some hard nosed decisions about where he places his cash. The bloke on the right, with the bandage on his head is clearly a member of the deserving poor. He can’t work for a living due to those terrible headaches he suffers with, or because of some awful industrial accident, like what Farmer Field had with the milking machine that time. Only that would have been an agricultural accident, and the coroner said that it was more a case of misadventure, although why anyone would consider it an adventure to apply mechanically produced powerful rhythmic suction where he did, The Lord alone knows!
The bloke on the left will not be receiving any money from his lordship, because he represents the undeserving poor. Look at that red thing sticking out of his pocket. A betting slip? A packet of fag papers? A rubber Johnny? If he can afford to go gambling and smoking and fiddling around with rubber johnnies, he doesn’t need any extra money from charity. He ought to be ashamed of himself!
What you have to decide, when you draw this card, is which one are you? Or which one is the subject of your reading? The benefactor, the worthy recipient, or the benefits cheat?
Four things you might do this week: (i) go out begging for an hour or two. Just so as you can see what the poor buggers go through? Is it really a serious alternative to working for a living? Or a necessity for the poor sods who have had their benefits cut because they are deemed “undeserving” by some rich buggers in parliament who are probably screwing the rest of us to pay for their second garden sheds and all expenses paid weekends in Morecambe. (ii) Examine a milking machine, or if you can’t get near one of those, a Dyson vacuum cleaner. Are you in the mood for an adventure? (iii) Dabble with some forces that you don’t understand, and see where it gets you. Buy a copy of the racing post, and draw three random tarot cards, see if any of the horses names are connected to the cards you draw and put a few quid on each…. On the nose! You never know, you might get addicted (iv) Give a beggar a couple of quid. If you did (i) above you could pass your earnings on to a genuine beggar. Go on. The government keep putting the price of extra strong lager up. How is he going to keep warm otherwise?

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