Auntie Doris’s Tarot Card of the Week #28: The Nine of Pentacles – 12th -18th May 2014

Another wealthy tippler hanging around in the vineyard in pentacle country. This one lives a life of leisure and her hobby is birds of prey. But what a ridiculous little bird of prey it is. And what on earth has she put on the poor little thing’s head. She has made it look like Zebadee out of the Magic Roundabout. And as everyone knows, Zebedee was the herald of bedtime. A second Character from the Magic roundabout can be seen in the foreground, none other than Brian the Snail. Snails are the symbols of going slow and taking things easy. So here we have someone who is financially secure, enjoys a glass of wine, and takes things easy, probably going to bed whilst it is still light. She isn’t afraid to muck in with household duties though. That’s no gauntlet on her hand. I doubt that little creature could scratch her with its puny claws. Its a marigold glove. So either she has just been washing the pots (one handed) or has just finished unblocking the lavatory. In her floral nightie an’all. Well done to you Mrs! I know just how hard it is to settle down for the night when you know that the next time somebody pulls the chain, the lavvy is going to get flooded with The Lord alone knows what.
My Raymond was always blocking our lavvy. He used to do some enormous turds he did. I’m sure he used to hold it in, because sometimes he didn’t go for days on end, and then he would take the newspaper and his pipe in and produce something of approximately the size of a mature cod. I kept a straightened wire coat hanger in the lavvy for slicing outsize turds into more manageable pieces with. If that didn’t work, we had to pour boiling water on them, but the really big ones would need more than one kettleful. I wouldn’t be surprised if the lass on this card hadn’t performed a similar service for the King of Pentacles.
Four things that you might do this week: (i) watch an episode of the Magic Roundabout. There’s no reason why you can’t with you new fangled video tapes and you tubes and Iris Murdoch with her multi channelled satellite televisions. You can probably get as much wisdom and advice from a single episode of the Magic Roundabout than you can get out of the whole pack of Tarot Cards put together. Unless I am deciphering them for you that is. But even just taking five minutes out of your busy life to watch something simple will do you the world of good. (ii) Feed some birds. Whether it’s ducks in the park pond, or a bird table in your garden, or just putting some seed out on a grass verge somewhere, you will have done a little good in the world. (iii) Go for a walk before bedtime. It will help you sleep. Don’t do it in your nightie though. It will attract the wrong sort of attention. Especially if you are wearing a marigold on one hand. (iv) straighten out a wire coat hanger and leave it next tithe lavvy. Just in case!

5 thoughts on “Auntie Doris’s Tarot Card of the Week #28: The Nine of Pentacles – 12th -18th May 2014

  1. I’d have guessed that she was just finishing her basketball practice and was about to head down to the gym where her team, the Sexy Satans (notice the pentagrams on her practice balls?), would all delight in her improvements to the team mascot, whose head she has wickedly replaced with a plump radish.

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