Auntie Doris’s Tarot Card of the Week #24 Temperance: 14th – 20th April 2014

I’m not over fond of this card. I don’t see having any harm in having a small sherry or two every now and then. I don’t see any harm in having a small bottle of sherry on special occasions or when you want to reward yourself for some little achievement, such as having almost got through the day without having had a small glass of sherry. But this card, temperance? What good did fiddling about with water ever do anyone. And the way she is pouring that out, she is obviously going to spill it anyway. In fact she has spilled so much that she is standing in a puddle. That’s probably why it’s water. She has had so much to drink in the past that she is suffering from the delibrium tremens, and she can’t hold her hands still enough to pour a glass of water properly.
Either she has a massive bird pecking her between the shoulder blades or she is an angel, I’ll leave that up to you to decide, but look at the state of those wings. They are all red as if they have got blood on them, and what’s that red triangle on her chest? A red triangle represents danger on the road ahead. There used to be one near my bungalow with the silhouettes of an elderly couple on it. I used to say that it was me and Raymond. So I reckon that she has been drink driving and knocked a couple of pensioners over. So she really ought to cut down on the sauce, and she knows it. The path to the mountains leads to her mental and physical recovery, but it’s a tough one, and it’s going to take her a while to get there. But the other path is overgrown with funny looking flowers, so it’s her only way out. One thing I will say though. She needs to get herself some decent boots and some warm clothing. She will do herself a mischief running around barefoot and in her nightie.
Four things that you might do this week. (i) Try and last a few days without alcohol. If that’s a bit of a tall order, just try and do a few days without sherry, and see how that goes. I’ve gone 27 years without a drop of Drambuie now. What’s my secret? I just take it one day at a time, and if I feel myself weakening, I just open another bottle of sherry. (ii) go for a paddle, at the seaside, the swimming baths or a local river or lake. Just dip your feet in and wiggle them around. It might feel cold, but it gets all the gunk out from between your toes and it feels lovely when you put your pop socks back on. (iii) go for a walk along a straight and narrow path towards some mountains. Don’t forget to take a packamac though. And check the bus timetable if you are going all the way, because you won’t feel like the walk back. The last time that I went all the way with my Raymond I couldn’t walk for a week. I think I slipped one of my ruddy discs. (iv) have a look at your Highway Code and check that you know what all the signs with red triangles mean. Then see if you can think up a new one, draw it, and either send it off to the highways agency or put it on Facebook for all your friends to see. Or both.

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