The king died in 1952. Nobody was surprised really. He had made such a mess of his lungs with the fags that he had had to have not only a sympathectomy but a ruddy pneumonectomy an’all. And even after all that, he still went malignant. They found him dead in his bed one Wednesday morning in February. Course, he would have had a better pair of lungs when he got to the other side, and he would have been able to smoke all he wanted to without doing them any harm at all. Plus his stammer would have gone completely, and he could have lived in the lap of luxury to which he was accustomed. . He had to wait another fifty years for his wife (the queen mum – god bless her) to arrive on the other side though. Because she didn’t turn her toes up until 2002, Any road, Princess Elizabeth had to become Queen. She was only 25, thirteen years younger than me. That made me feel old, I can tell you. They didn’t coronate her until the following year though, because they had to thoroughly fumigate the palace to get rid of the smell of the fags before she would move in.
There are people who say that I look a bit like the Queen, most of that is cosmetic of course, because we both wear specs and favour a headscarf. But you never know, we may be related somewhere down the line. My mother bore a striking resemblance to Prince Arthur, the Duke of Connaught, who was Queen Victoria’s son, and brother to King Edward VI. The thing was that my Grandmother had been in service at some house near Driffield where Arthur stayed once or twice in the mid 1870s, around the time that my mother was born. All of the younger Royals in those days were known for not being completely in charge of their animal instincts, particularly with serving girls in the houses that they served, so there is a possibility that I, like Her Majesty, am a direct descendent of Queen Victoria. And there could well be a bit of Lloyd George in there somewhere an’all. But that’s another story.
About a week after the king died Churchill announced that we had our first Atom Bomb. What on earth we ever needed an Atom bomb for has always baffled me. It wasn’t as if the Germans had one. But old Winston still had his war hat on and was probably a bit too impressed with what the Americans had done to the Japanese with theirs. I don’t know. What I do know is was that the powers that be wasn’t going to put Britain at Risk with the test explosions. They did them near Australia, which is about as far away from Britain as you can get. Little wonder that the Aussies don’t like us very much.
Auntie Doris’s Top Pop hit of 1952: “Do not Forsake me oh my Darling” by Frankie Laine. It was from the film High Noon. And it had a desperate, dramatic feel to it, just like the film.”I must face a man who hates me, or lie a coward, a craven coward, in my grave.” What a choice! I would have laid the craven coward in my grave, if he would have let me. And he probably would have, what with him being such a yellow belly. No point in facing people who hate you, You never know what they might do.