Auntie Doris’s Bribery and Corruption #1: Pocketful O’Nowt

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It’s always a little disappointing when you set up some scheme and the only people that take advantage of it is your own family. So far, my scheme to allow people to bribe me to talk about their blogs, businesses or websites has yielded one customer. My nephew Michael. Having said that, perhaps your own family know you best, and as a result can be pretty good at bribing you. Michael has hit the spot very effectively by bribing me with a 70cl bottle of Harvey’s Bristol Cream sherry. And all I have to do is point people in the direction of his ruddy silly pop group website: http://www.nowtnet.com.
You see, my Michael has always fancied himself as being a bit of a pop star. It’s a bit pathetic now, because he’ll be 53 this year, but he is still plugging away, ever the hopeful soul, with his latest group, Pocketful O’Nowt. If you go to the website, and let the first page load, you should see some pictures of him and his mates, and hear a few songs. It’s a bit of a racket if you ask me, but some people seem to like it. He ruddy swears an’all, which is something I can’t abide. But he is never vicious with it I suppose, and people more usually laugh at him than get offended by it.
I have even turned up at one or two of his pop concerts myself. I have even been known to do Tarot readings and stuff at them on occasion. But I can tell he doesn’t really want me there. He thinks I cramp his style with the dolly birds. And him married an’all!
Any road, if you can’t get to any of the pop concerts listed on his website, you can always watch one of his you tube videos there, or listen to his music, or download it, or even order one of those compacted discus things. I wouldn’t bother if I was you though. It only encourages the soft beggar.
Ohh, and there is a link to a page about me there too, and some of his other pals.
I reckon I have earned my sherry now, so I had better drink it. But don’t you forget, if you fancy me writing a little homily about your blog, business or webpage, you only have to bribe me. I have sixteen followers on here you know… And some of them are real people!

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2 thoughts on “Auntie Doris’s Bribery and Corruption #1: Pocketful O’Nowt

    • Of course it is Belle. My Nephew Michael has got the idea that he’s too high and mighty for ruddy Facebook. I told him, you can put stuff on fancy websites if you like, but I’m not giving up Facebook. He might like the idea of “followers” but I like my Facebook friends. So he can put that in his pipe and smoke it. I don’t think he’ll be happy until he is running a ruddy cult, and making them eat poisoned jelly babies whilst the FBI burn it down.

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