Auntie Doris’s Tarot Card of the Week #19: The Four of Pentacles

He’s an entrepreneur. He’s done alright in the past an’all. That’s how come he can afford to a crown. But look at him now, he’s away from the throng of the city and he’s clinging on to what’s left of his money for dear life. It might be because he owes it out and them what he owes it to are after him. Or it might just be because he’s scared of losing it.
But then again. Look where he is sitting. He might be away from the hustle and bustle, but it doesn’t look like the ruddy countryside, does it. He could easily be perched on the edge of a tall building. That is ruddy dangerous that is. Perching on the edge of tall buildings.
My Father got himself perched on the edge of a tall building once. Someone had been fiddling on the roof of the chapel and knocked a slate loose, and it had caused a damp patch on the ceiling and plaster was falling all over the pews. So he climbed up to try and sort it out. The thing was, He lost his nerve at the top and couldn’t get back onto the ladder, so instead he sat perched himself on the edge and prayed to The Lord for deliverance. The Lord never delivered him though. In the end my mother called the fire brigade, and they got the engine out. A burly fireman went up and came down with my father slung over his shoulder. Anybody normal would have been embarrassed, but my father was delighted. He got it into his head that the fireman was Saint Christopher, and that the whole business had been a sign from on high, to show him that he had been specially chosen for the task of saving sinners from their wicked ways by giving them quick, painful remedial nips on the thighs. I knew from painful experience that nipping was his favourite means of punishing those who he saw to have strayed from the path of righteousness, but it was a long while before I realised the extent of his delusion. That he was none other than the notorious Yorkshire Nipper!
Four things that you might do this week. (i) check on your investments, if you ruddy have any that is, if not, then it might be worth sitting down and trying to get your financial house in order. (ii) If your life is getting you down, take a tip from the Drifters and spend a little time up on the roof. (iii) Try and be a little more patient with people whose behaviour you find it difficult to accept. Try counting to a hundred before doing anything stupid like bruising their inner thigh with a vicious hard nip. (iv) If you find yourself in a difficult or life threatening situation, do something practical like ringing the fire brigade or finding a solution yourself. Praying to The Lord for deliverance only works in a small percentage of cases, and if you are the sort of person who only bothers with The Lord when in a spot of bother, you might just find that he is busy elsewhere.

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