Auntie Doris’s New Years Revolutions #5: Get the Job You Deserve!


What with me being dead, I don’t have to work. I live the life of Riley, having as much fun as I like on the other side, and manifesting myself through our Michael whenever I feel like poking my nose into the affairs of the earthbound. But I can understand that it must be pretty horrible to have to drag yourself up every morning to do a job that you don’t enjoy. Or even worse if you have nothing to get out of bed for because you don’t have a job, and there’s not much on the television. You deserve so much better. You know you do!

Well, the only way its going to happen, is if you get off your backside and make it happen. A bit like Noel Edmunds did when he asked the Universe out loud to give him a ruddy silly television program that would make him more money than he could stuff between the cheeks of his disgusting arse. If I was the universe (which I’m not) I would have given him the job he deserves alright; cleaning out lavatories, with his face, in a diarrhoea ward, in a hot country. Anyway, he got the job he thought he deserved. And I suppose its a facile, idiotic job, and he’s a facile idiotic man, so there’s some justice there, I just think that he makes a bit too much money out of it.

Anyway. You want the job you deserve. Not Noel ruddy Edmunds. Make a plan. Ask yourself what job it is you deserve. Be serious. You might really want to work for Playtex as a lingerie model, but do you really deserve it? Once you have decided what you deserve… Then do it! Whats stopping you?

If its the boss of the outfit you want to work for. Contact them directly. Tell them why you want the job. Tell them why you deserve it. If its money you need, contact the bank. Tell them why you deserve it. Tell them your Auntie Doris sent you. Tell them that she isn’t exactly your auntie Doris. Tell them that she is dead and she speaks to you through her 52 year old cross dressing Nephew… on Facebook. On second thoughts maybe don’t tell them all of that stuff. Until you have landed the job.

Auntie Doris’s Alternative Revolution: Enjoy the job you’ve got, or if you can’t manage that, tell them to stuff it and look for something else. (Not necessarily in that order)


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