Auntie Doris’s Guide to the Zodiac #2. Sagittarius: 23rd November – 21st December


My Raymond used to say that I was a Saggitarius. Cheeky so and so. He actually said I was a “saggy titty arse”. Well I could have had plenty to say about his saggy bits if I had had a mind to. And it wouldn’t have just been his titties either. Although they were big and saggy enough, I can tell you. He would have looked better in a bra. Or at least it would have lifted them off his belly and stopped him getting those horrible sores underneath. Anyway.. If you are a Sagitarian, it’s about time you started looking after yourself a bit better in my opinion. It wouldn’t hurt to put a comb through your hair every now and again, would it? Or at least it wouldn’t once you had sorted all the matted bits out. And learn to stand up straight. I know that slouching about is supposed to be all the rage these days, but it doesn’t do your ruddy back any good. You never caught my Raymond slouching.. Or at least not until his bosoms got so big that they weighed his chest down and gave him a permanent stoop. Still, at least they gave him something to fiddle with of an evening. Saved him messing about with mine. I don’t hold with this “motorboating” malarky. Famous Saggitarians: Ken Dodd, Albert Einstein, Jimi Hendrix, Barbara Woodhouse, Catweazle.

4 thoughts on “Auntie Doris’s Guide to the Zodiac #2. Sagittarius: 23rd November – 21st December

  1. Thank you. I’m a Sagittarius, and although I have a fairly saggy bosom, and don’t comb my hair, it’s a word I can’t spell. I cut and pasted yours and it said it was misspelled. So I had to go all over the net in search of how to spell it. Just give me a present on December 6 and I’ll shut up.

    • My nephew Michael checked it on that Wiccan Encyclopedia thing… Not that that makes it right… But however you spell it.. I would like to thank both you and Paul Mitlaru for discovering these posts and liking them as soon as i put them on. they are how I started out on the Facebook a year ago… I thought that I could sneak the ruddy things on here without anyone noticing… It seems not!

      • Gemini and Libra seem to be missing! I feel so incomplete. You can’t sneak too much past people who are inherently nosy. (I’m not on Facebook – I’m not the slightest bit interested in great-nephew doing wee-wees at 2 pm, or whatever. I know that my Facebook relatives would cram my life with such nothings. Unlike yourself, Auntie Doris, who speak nothing but stuff of import).

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